How to Find Love

Begin in teenage years.

Date a girl for several days. 

Break up. This was not love. Search

Without looking. That is to say, do not 

Search with your open eyes, but with your

Open heart. Open your heart wide, wide enough

For people to get in, for people to stay in. 

Get hurt. Love does not come cheap.

Continue through high school. Find a girl 

And date her for two of your four years. Date her,

On a whim, and fall for her. In fits of passion and lust,

Make love to her clumsily, it being both of your firsts.

When you lie in bed, skin on skin, whisper to her. Tell her

You love her. Tell her how you found her, how you

Opened your heart and she flew right in, like a

Dove. A dove with talons. Later, give her terrible words, 

Something akin to “we need to talk.” Break

Her heart. Feel sorry for hurting her, but regret

Nothing. Or don’t. Receive terrible words,

Something akin to “it’s not you, it’s me.” Have her

Break your heart, knowing they are just words, 

And it was you all along.

This was not love.

In your escapades following your separation,

Find amazing friends, friends that help you 

Open your heart once again. Friends that climb in 

And make your heart their home. Fall for one of them.

She is beautiful in every way, you tell her. Love her 

Through everything and anything. Have her

For a short time. You fell for her more

Than anyone in the past. More than that girl

Who was your first.

Lose her. It will tear you apart, this girl that

Fit. This girl that may well have been yours 

Forever. Lose her. Now you know love.

It hurts.

How to Fear Mannequins

Begin in a horror movie.

The villain? That perfect Aryan GAP 

Family of plastic. With their polo shirts, 

And 10 dollar sweaters.

Hey! Khaki shorts, buy one get one half off!

Run. They’ve come alive.

They feel naked, those cocoons of fake human,

They feel naked in their discounted red,

White and blue.

They feel naked, and you have the fleshy

Jumper they desire.

They feel naked, but in your skin, they’ll be at 

Peace.

Run more, don’t try to hide, they hear

Your heart beating, their jealousy

Of functioning organs leading their every action.

There’s no escaping their wrath, their 

Envy, their greed.

Run faster, run longer.

There’s no escape, they are

Everywhere.

Fight back, shatter them into the hundreds 

Of individual pieces they truly are. Hit them square

In the chest, blast their arms off. And watch

As they slowly return to their composed forms,

Your hatred and temper swaying them

Not in the least. Watch as your hope fades 

With every joint that clicks into place.

Cry into your hopelessness, scream at your

Attacker.

There is no hope for you, friend. This fear

That has been instated and installed 

In your soul… It consumes, corrodes, corrupts.

It condemns you, ‘till you give in to your fear

And find yourself huddled in a small dark room

Because your ever present severe claustrophobia

Is kinder, and gentler, than the Aryan demons

In GAP clothing and permanent unconvincing

Fake smiles.

End in a horror movie.

The villain? Your mind. Your twisted,

Plagued brain, demanding fear in

Inanimate objects. Find yourself

In groups of people, telling them

About this plague your brain created,

Hearing them call you crazy.

“We’ve been underestimating their

Power for too long now,” you 

Say. “Its only a matter of time,” you 

Say. 

How to Love Lips

Begin forming words.

Move with beauty and grace.

Dance to the message your body forms. After, 

You will embrace her, mixing in a new dance.

You make truth, this is your business. But also,

You make lies, this is your sin. Don’t listen

To the problems of others, this is not for you,

But when they need you, tell them the way to fix these problems

Dance once again and remove their sorrow

Out of their mind.

Go to new places, dance with others,

But save your waltz for her

For when you return home. This dance you share, 

This wondrous lust, this thing

Is precious, and therefore, delicate.

In your life, you will have many people to share this waltz,

Many people to share this 

Sacred lust. That doesn’t

Make it any less precious.

When you dance with her, remember

Those steps well, those moments.

Share this dance with only her, until

She finds another with swifter feet, and better

Shoes, better moves. Now it is your turn

To find another, better dancer.

Dancing cannot be the only thing

You ever do. Sometimes you are more 

Lovable when you sit quietly,

And watch. Watch someone else’s 

Dance. By simply being there,

You instill confidence, proclaim

The truth that is your business.

This is no place for your sin.

Just sit and watch, see

How gracefully the muscle moves the bone,

Watch as practiced limbs create beauty

Before your eyes. See the way they speak

With you. See how these movements create 

Love, not romantic, but fanatic,

In your odd little heart.

This journey, that is falling in love

With something, will have a 

Side effect. You may start to

Notice more beauty in everything,

In people, in things, in the world,

In life, in death,

And in everything in between.

This is not really 

“How to Love Lips”

This is “How to Love.”